nahshaw:

I won’t be satisfied with my life until I meet someone who’s a sarcastic piece of shit like me and is attractive and wants to fuck me bye

nickmoorexvx:

Yesterday a guy came up to me at work was like “How are you ever going to get a job with all those piercings?”

I’ll say that again. 

A guy came up to me

at work

and asked “How are you ever going to get a job with all those piercings?”

 

vertabre:

Simon says like me back

burqalicious:

if youre attractive and you talk to me first, chances are im very confused

thorhead:

Have you ever been so angry that yOU STARTED SPEAKING IN A WONDERFULLY ARTICULATE FASHION WITH BLAZING RAW WIT AND CUNNING REMARKS AND USING ABSOLUTELY MINDBLOWINGLY INTELLIGENT WORDS AND PHRASES THAT YOU WEREN’T EVEN AWARE YOUR VOCABULARY WAS CAPABLE OF PRODUCING

sylvanburningcenter:

I JUST WANT MY ABS TO BE TIGHTER THAN A NUN’S PUSSY